Saturday, October 4, 2014

Impermanence



Berlin. 
Almost none of my friends are here permanently.
And i'm starting to think that maybe i'm not either? 
Maybe Berlin is a phase we all must go through before we find our real home?
I'm fairly certain that Denmark isn't mine, but I'm starting to accept that this might not be it either. 
So with that in mind, i'm trying not to tie myself down too much. 
Which sounds ridiculous coming from someone currently looking for an apartment and a new place to call home, I know!
But it won't be like it was. 

I moved into the Bunker thinking that i was going to be living here forever, or at least 20 years or more.
Not less that two. 
And now it doesn't even feel remotely like home. Hasn't for a long time.
For this next place, a place that's gonna be just for me, my expectations are more realistic. 
What i'm looking for is a home base, for now. 
In a city that feels a lot like home. For now.
Sure, I'll invest in it and make it cosy as hell, but now i know it won't be forever. 
Who knows how i'll feel when the people who have become my best friends decide it's time to move back home?
Maybe Berlin will lose some of its charm when i don't have the people closest to me to share it with anymore.
Much like homes, friendships aren't necessarily a permanent thing. 
That's what growing older teaches you.

I know this may come off as a sad post, but it's really not.
Self indulgent and a bit naive, perhaps, but not sad!
If anything, it's about realizing that the world is full of possibilities.
It's about living in the now, and being curious about the future.
I have no idea where i'm gonna be in five years, or one for that matter, and that's kind of beautiful.
And a first for me.

I know i haven't done a lot of writing since The Break-Up, and that's been hard for me.
Holding back is not in my nature.
But shit is complicated, and airing your dirty laundry on the internet is just never really a good idea.
That being said, i hope to be able to open up and share more in the near future.

Here are some pictures from the last couple of months of apartment hunting.
I haven't had any luck yet, but i have gotten to explore some cool neighborhoods, gone on lots of long bike rides, and gotten a look inside some really interesting buildings, and i'm hopeful that something awesome will come my way soon.
If not, i guess i'll emigrate. Worked last time!



One of the first apartments i looked at was so dreamy and way too expensive

Post apartment viewing okonomiyaki at Neues Heimat

Awesome market... i should go back there soon

This place was (obviously) still being renovated

This is a problem in Berlin, actually; they take beautiful old apartments and renovate them until they've lost all their original charm

When looking at apartments in Neuk├Âlln, i have coffee at Roamers

A rare and wonderful not renovated apartment in Friedrichshain that i wanted badly

I was gonna paint the floors

When looking at apartments in Friedrichshain, i have coffee at Silo

After coffee photobooth fun with Jessica's kitten sleep mask 

The best part of this place was the amazing hallway 

The apartment was great too, but we weren't allowed to take pictures cause people still lived there

Nice neighborhood, but close to the dreaded and kind of useless brown line...

Oh, how i loved this one, but it had hidden expenses and ended up being just a bit outside of my budget

Pretty pink hallway

I dressed up for this viewing...

... and ended up matching one of the apartments 

Again, Roamers... i need to live near this place